Helping Kids Choose Life

Your book deals with issues that are, alarmingly, on the increase in our society. Thank you for addressing them and empowering the reader with information and directives on identifying these behaviour patterns in young people and how to assist them in dealing with their issues.

We trust that this book will become a mandatory reference book for all who are involved with young lives.

Chris Andrews
Principal, Coolum Beach Christan College
Queensland Australia
October 2007

"This is an easy read, a painful subject, and much needed personal account of one individual's experience as a victim of abuse. Des Bowman provides a detailed description of the sometimes struggle, and sometimes ecstacy, of his life journey. A journey through innocence, pain, loss, grief, playing the blame and shame game into the contrast of wisdom, peace of mind, personal responsibility, and finally receiving the gift. This account provides insight, awareness, and freedom for the reader. It is a valuable resource for anyone supporting our young people."

Paul Dunne.
Psychologist,
Queensland, Australia

Letters from school students

Below are testimonials provided by students at schools where Des has had speaking engagements.

Dear Des,

Thank you so much for coming to our school last month to speak to us about your experiences with abuse and bullying. It made us all cry to think of how many kids put up with this in silence because they don't know who to talk to. l have learnt so much from your talk and will now be able to help my friends find help in the future, Once again thank you,

Ashleigh Coates Pacific Lutheran College, year 11

I am a 16 year old female student of a Sunshine Coast High School in Queensland, Australia that Des Bowman spoke at recently. As we regularly have speakers come to our school I remember telling the other students outside the classroom whilst waiting to go in that here we go again, another speaker coming to our school to tell us stuff we already know and how to live our lives.

Well I was wrong and, and what Des spoke to us about had all of us in tears because he was so accurate with his understanding of our emotions and what many of us have to deal with. Des's life story of being sexually abused, rejected, and bullied and why so many kids self harm, committ suicide or grow into angry adults who harm innocent people, had us on the edge of our seats and some parts of his story reminded us of some of things that were going on in our own lives.

I contacted Des by email through his website to thank him for coming to our school as I had been struggling for ages because of the bitter divorce that is taking place between my parents, and for ages I believed it was my fault that this was happening. There have been many times that l felt like running away, or self harming and often I would just sit in my room crying and get so depressed. Even when I was with my friends or family I would have difficulty in talking, as I was afraid of the pain that I was feeling from the break up of my family.

To ask for help from the school counsellor or anyone else was too hard and I was scared to admit I was having problems, because I was scared of what other peopIe would think of me. When Des replied to my email he encouraged me to talk to someone qualified to help me, and he told me that I was courageous for contacting him and would be an inspiration to others who are struggling as well.

I have never felt better in my life because instead of just talking to my school friends and my boy friend about this stuff, I was able to get help and tell someone who knew what I should do about my problems. Thanks to Des for helping me and l am also gratefuI to our school for getting Des back a week later to talk to other classes as I got to meet with him personally and thank him for helping myself and many others.

The name of this student has been witheld

Des Bowman came and spoke to the year 11 's class that we are in at Pacific Lutheran College, and we found him to be the most inspirational person we have met. Des spoke about the likely reasons as to why so many young people self - harm, suicide or who grow into angry adults who committ horendous acts of violence against innocent people in our communities. His experiences in being sexually abused ,rejected and having been bullied as a young boy touched us alI in the, classroom that day.

Although we haven't been sexually abused we now understand that there have been many children who have been, and from Des's talk we can now understand the behavior of those who have been abused.

We are sure that there were kids in that class who needed to hear what Des had to say, as during morning tea after Des spoke to us, the conversation from all the students present was how much we all got out of what Des told us about the impact that rejection has on kids growing up, and the impact of our words when we speak to others.

We have both been guilty of saying things to others and not realising the impact these words can have on the lives of other kids as we often don't know what they have experienced or what may be going on in their lives outside school.

Des, thanks mate for coming to our school and and talking to us about these important life issues, and sharing your own story. You touched a heap of people and we hope to hear you again soon. We are also grateful to our school for caring enough about us to have Des come along and help us.

Thank You.

Michael & Scott Ford
Pacific Lutheran College
Sunshine Coast
Queensland
Australia
6th November 2008

Testimonies

BEEN SEXUALLLY ABUSED?

It wasn't until I read Des's book that I realised that I had a blockage in my heart, as I had been sexually abused as a teenager. Reading Des's book and hearing his testimony released me to a new level of healing that I never knew was possible. I was then able to express my own story which in turn has set others free. Thanks Des for your openeness.

Brendon Clancy , Age: 51
Caloundra Queensland Australia

When I read Des Bowman's book titled "Been Sexually Abused", it helped me to recognise behaviour patterns and personality traits that my husband had adopted over many years that came from the fact that he was sexually abused as a young boy.Since my husband and I both read the book there has been an incredible amount of healing take place in him personally and in our relationship as well. So accurate are the behaviour patterns that Des describes in the book, that my husband thought it was written about his own life. I can see this book helping those who were not sexually abused also, as they will be able to identify behaviour patterns in others just like it did for me. Thanks Des for showing us the pathway to complete freedom.

Suzanne Moore , Age: 55
Gatton, Queensland Australia

When my girlfriend bought Des's book for me and asked me to read it, I reluctantly did so. It was amazing how accurate Des was in describing the behaviour patterns of sexual abuse victims, as I saw a lot of my own troubles connected to the fact I was sexually abused as a nine year old boy. In fact I recently served nearly seven years in prison due to acts of violence and anger against others , and I now know that my sexual abuse experience contributed enormously to this outcome. This book has helped set me free of the harmful behaviour against not only others , but against myself as well. Thanks Des.

Alan Black (Blackie) , Age: 44
Albury, New South Wales Australia

After reading Des Bowman's story I acknowledged that I had been living in denial that the sexual abuse I encountered as a little girl had any influence on the way I lived and saw myself today. I look forward to living in a way that I didn't know I was capable. I have gained so much freedom in applying what I have learnt in this book and can only encourage others to get this book and read it, not just sexual abuse victims. There is so much in Des's story that everyone could gain wisdom from it.

Ruth Mason , Age: 37
Buddina, Queensland Australia